"The Same Love, Same Rights"

It's mid-July and it's been hot and sticky. I am not a fan of air conditioning(that sounded funny to me) but we've had it cranking in our house for the last week. I must admit, it's not freezing and takes the humidity out of the air. The couches don't turn blue from the mold and it's cozy to sleep at night. I'm venturing into the City on Saturday for a GLBT Bridal Expo at The City Winery down on Varick Street. It's going to be a happening, I am sure. Can't wait to see how Joyful Journey Ministry is received. At the other expos I've done, I get a sidewise glance as couples rush past my table to check out the gazillion of photographers that attend. And there's the free food! Bags of giveaways! Lovely models of dresses and tuxes! I am going to love it, to be sure. The Rainbow Wedding Network is putting this on with the slogan "The Same Love, Same Rights." Yes and yes some more! The slogan on my business cards reads "There Is Only Love." As that famous English group crooned "Love is all you need." Come by and visit if you're in the City. It's 1-4 and I'll be there all day-having a lot of fun and spreading the love.

It's a Wonderful Life

It's been quite a month or two! I've been in a wedding frenzy, helping couples ploan their ceremonies, making sure all the names are correct, the readings are perfect for each couple and having the licenses signed, sealed and delivered after the festivities are over. I take this job seriously-it is a ministry, a call for service that my Divine Creator asks me to perform. I was reminded that I worked hard to be where I am in this lifetime. It doesn't come naturally to me to have a microphone in my hand but I love, love, love to marry couples! I had no idea that, two short years ago, I would be doing this. I went to Seminary to learn about world religions, something I was always interested in exploring. In High School, I had a great religion teacher who gave us smatterings of existentialism and Sartre. It led me to philosophy and the great teachers that gave us the basis for all thinking. A marriage of those two gave me the inquisitive mind to go further. Now, years later, I am "preaching" mindfulness to my brides as they come down the aisle. I whisper "Just breathe-be in your body and just be here". I make eye contact and we breathe together. The ceremony begins when we are present-all three of us. The crowd behind them becomes a blur and we're off! Besides having the privilege of being a wedding officiant, I also offer baby blessings. In May, I offered a blessing for a beautiful baby boy, Anderson Jeremiah Millard. His mommy, Birgitta, is a dear friend and we had fun doing it up big for this bundle of joy. Each guest was given a sand dollar. They wrote their name and a wish for Anderson on them. During the ceremony, we strung all the shells together and they will hold a special place in the baby's room. As he grows, the spirit of each person will strengthen Anderson and give him comfort. As a species, we are hard-wired for joy! How wonderful it is to be alive and know that we are all part of a Divinity who knows us, up and down, in and out! All love during this month of weddings, graduations, special days for all kinds of fathers!

Season of Love

It's the season! The birds are running around building their nests. The geese and swans in my backyard lake have been all a-honking and racing around protecting their eggs. I love this season of plenty and growth.

The brides and grooms are finding me and I'm thrilled to have June almost fully booked! I am officiating for two brides, also, who will be tying the knot in a venue in Brooklyn. Road trip back to where I spent my first 6 months of marriage way back in the 70's. I love to see all this love in the air. Young couples or mature folks who finally found their life-long mate--it's an exciting time.

When I first meet a couple that have asked me to marry them, it is magical. Their shyness wears off after a few minutes. We talk, I get to hear about how they met and how their love started to spark. Who wouldn't love this job? If you can call it a "job"? I call it a privilege, an honor, to be able to be with two people as they publicly proclaim their love and devotion to each other. And to legally officiate is just the icing on the cake.

I am also offering a "short-ceremony" wedding for elopements and those couples who want to have the ceremony and dinner at some of the local restaurants in my area.
You can contact me--my geese and swans will be your witnesses! And maybe a few babies by then.

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE

As the song goes, "Let's Do It, Let's Fall In Love". I found it appropriate this month to blog on Love since February is the Love Month! To me, in the wedding biz, every day is about Love. My motto is "There is Only Love" from a wonderful piece of music I learned at Seminary.

I've been in a frenzy this month with Bridal Showcases, contacting brides and grooms and brides and brides and grooms and grooms about my wonderful ministry. It is a gift to be able to legally send two people out into the world as a married entity. I have so much fun with it. Love meeting them and hearing about how they fell in love. There are many on-line couples that make it to the altar, so you singles out there-hang in! If Spirit wants you to be with someone, they'll make it difficult for you not to meet!

I was just asked to do a wedding in June with a 1940's theme. Wow! My Mom and Dad fell in love in the 40's and we grew up with that music. Cole Porter is in my blood. Dorsey and the rest of the big bands are what I was weaned on. This should be so much fun! Thank you, Amanda!

Love is contagious, don't you think? I know that when I see lovers holding hands, no matter what age, it's a sign of good health. I grab my honey's hand when I can and we are still happily married after almost 42 years. We love having newlyweds living with us-for the second time. Keeps us focused on the years when we couldn't be apart from each other for a minute!

So, dear ones, love each other this month and each day. Keep it alive in your hearts because, as the Beatles say "All You Need is Love".

Wildest Dreams

On November 27, 2011, I had the great privilege of being the officiant at my son, Blair and his beautiful wife, Stephanie's wedding. It was a destination wedding in Cancun, Mexico.
The wedding group assembled a few days before the nuptuals for Thanksgiving weekend.
Steph and Blair chose a great all-inclusive place on the Mayan Riviera called Dreams.
And it was dreamy! The water was a beautiful blue, sand a white soft powder and endless amounts of food and drink.

The focus was the young couple. They wanted all of us to bond as a new family as we're all scattered around the country. Friends came from Nevada and California and family flew in from from Massachusetts, California, New Jersey, New York and Connecticut. We sat around on the beach and by the pool for a few days, talking, playing soccer and football, snorkling and getting to know new family members.

The wedding ceremony was at 4 pm on Sunday afternoon. The ladies went to the spa in the morning for some TLC and some of the guys went to play golf. Steph didn't want Blair to see her on her wedding day and friends made sure he didn't. The day was a bit overcast and rain had been predicted. It got progressively darker as 4 pm drew near but the bride and her dad made it down to the Mayan Temple wedding site before the sprinkles came. John, Stephanie's dad had tears flowing as he approached the spot where Blair and the wedding party waited. Stephanie was a vision! My boy looked as handsome as ever, the joy on his face made him glow!

As the mother as well as the officiant, I felt a peace and basked in all the love. The ceremony was their choice and a great one it was. They spoke their vows quietly and reverently. My heart was so full watching the "kids" totally into the moment. They really did marry themselves. We were just the witnesses. The almost forty guests cheered as Blair dipped her at their kiss to seal the deal. The rains started in earnest during the cocktail hour but we held umbrellas over us as we rocked to the Mariachi Band the couple hired to entertain us.

We ate and danced for the rest of the night. Then the bride and groom and a few hard-core wedding goers went dancing some more! I went to sleep that night with a smile on my face, knowing the God above was also smiling at all the love shared.

Inspiration

Where do you find inspiration? How do you stretch the creative muscle that we all have inside? How easily do you find the words, the voice, the expression that uniquely makes you the (you)man/woman that you are? What makes you gasp in wonder?
What makes you cry spontaneously? What color makes you look twice and keeps your gaze for just a little while?

We all have inside of us curiosity that causes us to take a little while to assimilate with our eyes, ears, noses. We take thousands of stimulus in each day.
Sometimes, it's just too much to absorb. A day of over-stimulation with noise, including human conversation, often sends me into hibernation the next day. I love people but need balance. When I need a creative fix, I'll take myself to nature, including communing at the beach or our local Arboretum. I find the greatest fix of all in my beloved New York City. The activity heightens my senses. I find in each area of Manhattan a treasure-trove for ideas for writing and reflecting. The creative me sings after a day walking the City streets and being with all that energy. I can tap into my inner Steinbeck or make a date with the ghosts of the Fitzgeralds at The Algonquin. I hear the musicians in the Subway and stop for a while, acknowledging their talents.

At our local Arboretum, year-round, there is ample time to smell the scents of each season, hear the leaves or crunch of snow under my feet. The salt mist from the ocean calls upon the Melville inside of me, imagining what goes on out in the vast ocean. As I sit on the shore, I am called to look at my own "Gifts from the Sea" ala AML.

I take the time for inspiration. It is a discipline that seems more like meditation. Without it, we may as well live under rocks.

First Day Jitters

Even at the age I’ve become in this life, I still suffer from the angst of “firsts”. First walk into a new doctor seems to be the point where I’m at in this decade. The monthly drop of the Great South Bay Magazine --I am still nervous about you people out there reading my “stuff” each month. Being in the ER with my hubby when you have no idea what the next hour will bring. A ride to the funeral of a young man-fear and grief mixed for the family. First family event without a beloved sibling sitting at the table.

There have been times when firsts have been joyful: Graduations, new babies, weddings and all the preparatory stuff involved in the excitement surrounding the “big day”. The first day of school, whether it is grade school, high school, college, or Seminary. A new school where you don’t know a soul, but after the first month, you know you’re all in it together to make it. It sometimes takes on the “us vs the teacher mentality”! Whatever it takes to survive.

I went to an all-girls high school. You would think the competition wouldn’t have been so bad. Ugly uniforms and no boys in a mixed-sex school setting should put us all on a level playing field. We lost that added pressure to show how smart you were in front of the males. We only had the teacher to schmooze. The teachers, religious women, were anxious for us all to achieve and show the world that we could be the brightest and best. We were taught to be almost arrogant about our position in life and know we were academically head over the “publics”. Not so sure about that posture as the school eventually shut its doors. However, I know that I was stretched and had a great education there. They prepared me for the “first” day of college and every door I walk through to this day.

The mantra we were taught was adapted by a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt:
“I am only one, but I am one. I can’t do everything, but I can do something.
What I can do, I ought to do. What I ought to do, by the grace of God, I will do.” Quite a tall order, don’t you think? It’s still drilled in my head, as you can see, and it’s been a while since I last sat in that big auditorium and heard those words.

I’ve always admired teachers but never had the calling to be one. It is a calling, isn’t it? They devote long days and often nights to molding kids into becoming adults. They have a tough time and keep going back year after year. “Maybe I can make a difference in a life” is the tone. The vocation is daunting but can be fulfilling.

I remember the first day of my first child’s kindergarten. He was all dressed up in his new outfit, complete with boat shoes. He had a little backpack and nametag around his neck. I have a picture of him and his sister walking off to the bus stop with my mother holding each of their hands. Smiles all around, but I know my mom and I were weepy. The “first” of many in our family. My mother has since passed but I know she will be there today in Spirit for my first grandchild’s first day of kindergarten this Fall.

I’m writing this as we prepare for a hurricane. For many, it will be a “first” and the panic has been rampant. Caution for Mother Nature’s fury is good.
Let's hope Irene is benevolent!