Goings On

Wedding season has been somewhat quiet for this officiant.  It seems like the folks are deciding that they don't need any long engagement.  The shortest engagement I saw this year was a month.  Our couple had been together years before and rekindled their romance.  He proposed on June 28 and they were married on July 21!  And no, they were not expecting.

I know that it takes a while for me to formulate a ceremony in my brain. I call it "percolating".  After our initial meeting, I write down things they said that may be pertinent to the ceremony.  I have them complete a 4 page questionnaire with a lot of information but nothing beats a face to face conversation.  I get a real feel for their connection, with either a face to face or Skype interview. 

September has become the new June.  Maybe venues charge less during the early Fall;  I have 5 weddings so far for September!  They are spread out from Roslyn to the North Fork and down to the Hamptons.  I'll be spreading the love all over the place. 

Have a Joyful August!

Waiting

At the Tampa Airport.  I've been in Florida for 22 days so far and, not to be a whiner, it was lovely but too long.
I love being with the father of my children, Bruce and the father of me, Dad.  We rented a beautiful condo near Dad's winter digs down in Florida.
The weather was unseasonably warm(poor us).  It rained one day, which was goodness for the flowers.
I found out that I am not really cut out to live among the retired set yet.
It's sort of Disney for adults.  Get up late, take a walk, play some golf, eat lunch, nap, go to dinner and then go to bed.  Repeat next day.  The white hairs are everywhere.  The beige orthopedic shoes made me giggle.  All the ads for hearing aids, cemetery plots, doctors and financial experts filled the newspapers.
We attended a live show of "You Can't Take It With You", a play by Rogers and Hart set in the 1930's.  It was sold out.  The busses from the assisted living were all lined up waiting after the show.  Truth be told, it was quite entertaining.  The flatulence jokes went over well with this group.
Lest I sound like a spoiled brat, I appreciated the peaceful mornings.  I walked the beach and soaked in the serenity of the cawing gulls.  It gave me a renewal I needed to write more, to serve the aging and to enjoy my grandchildren.  It gave me a glance at what was ahead.  A 3 1/2 hour stint at an urgent care facility for a sinus infection(mine) made me appreciate the ease I have in getting into my doctor up North.  I sat there with my wonderful 90 yr old Dad, being taken care of by him again.  It was a moment that wasn't lost by me.  We have a great relationship that I treasure daily. 
So, homeward bound!  That's the best part of going away.  Yes, I'll need my warm jammies and the heat cranked up.  And tomorrow, I'll be back to reality, performing a wedding for a wonderful couple and probably whine about the cold.

No Sense

The killing of innocent people yesterday in Newtown, CT is such a tragedy.  We are all saddened, aghast and shocked that someone could so coldly go into a school with small children and take out as many people as he wanted.
What have we created as a people?

I don't wish to know all the details.  I turned off my TV and won't read the paper.  My worship community is having prayers for the victims and their families today and I will be home in the quiet and pray.  It is unfathomable that the Spirit that lives within us all would allow this to happen.  This is where our humanity and divinity splits.  We can't see the big picture and we couldn't understand it if it was spelled out to us.  As humans, we can only grieve and pray.  We can hold our loved ones closer, add a little joy to others lives by some random act of kindness or just be still and know.

I am wont to go off into political rampages about guns.  We have amendments and all of that.  Mental illness?  More amendments.  I know we are not that tightly wrapped.  Present company included. 

Light a candle in your home today for the kids, the teachers and the community of Newtown, CT.  It's a beautiful place. An idyllic New England town, right out of a Norman Rockwell painting. My cousin lived there for many years and taught in that school.  I know her heart is very heavy carrying around the pictures of the bright shiny faces and the ones that she taught with.  It's legacy has forever changed.

The Trifecta

Well, Superstorm Sandy came through our area in October, bringing with her destruction and pain.  All of Long Island, New Jersey and parts of Connecticut were touched by her wrath.  Our beautiful Fire Island was so damaged!  I feel for the wildlife that was just washed away.  The different communities of litle cottages to mini mansions haven't see this much destruction since the Hurricane of 1938!

My friends have lost everything.  Photos, family treasures, clothing and refrigerators!  Gone in a matter of hours.  We were lucky in only losing power for a few hours.  Other family members were without power for almost 2 weeks. 

We are intact!  Maybe a little frayed around the edges.  My friend, Craig, who lost his whole first floor, calls it his "Bad Boy Scout Camping Trip."  But he has kept his sense of humor! 

As we look towards the end of 2012, it's been a doozie.  Good Bye, Good Riddance and don't come back!  To those who are still living in hotels, not able to get into their homes for the holidays, bring them a little cheer.  Send a card to a soldier.  Keep your loved ones nearby.  Give a smile to a stranger in the grocery store.

The Trifecta is simple:  We need to take care of our physical, spiritual and mental health.  When one is compromised, all are in peril.  Keep the Faith, all!  Have a Blessed time with all the people you love this holiday season and keep each other in your prayers.  They'll do the same for you.

"The Same Love, Same Rights"

It's mid-July and it's been hot and sticky. I am not a fan of air conditioning(that sounded funny to me) but we've had it cranking in our house for the last week. I must admit, it's not freezing and takes the humidity out of the air. The couches don't turn blue from the mold and it's cozy to sleep at night. I'm venturing into the City on Saturday for a GLBT Bridal Expo at The City Winery down on Varick Street. It's going to be a happening, I am sure. Can't wait to see how Joyful Journey Ministry is received. At the other expos I've done, I get a sidewise glance as couples rush past my table to check out the gazillion of photographers that attend. And there's the free food! Bags of giveaways! Lovely models of dresses and tuxes! I am going to love it, to be sure. The Rainbow Wedding Network is putting this on with the slogan "The Same Love, Same Rights." Yes and yes some more! The slogan on my business cards reads "There Is Only Love." As that famous English group crooned "Love is all you need." Come by and visit if you're in the City. It's 1-4 and I'll be there all day-having a lot of fun and spreading the love.

It's a Wonderful Life

It's been quite a month or two! I've been in a wedding frenzy, helping couples ploan their ceremonies, making sure all the names are correct, the readings are perfect for each couple and having the licenses signed, sealed and delivered after the festivities are over. I take this job seriously-it is a ministry, a call for service that my Divine Creator asks me to perform. I was reminded that I worked hard to be where I am in this lifetime. It doesn't come naturally to me to have a microphone in my hand but I love, love, love to marry couples! I had no idea that, two short years ago, I would be doing this. I went to Seminary to learn about world religions, something I was always interested in exploring. In High School, I had a great religion teacher who gave us smatterings of existentialism and Sartre. It led me to philosophy and the great teachers that gave us the basis for all thinking. A marriage of those two gave me the inquisitive mind to go further. Now, years later, I am "preaching" mindfulness to my brides as they come down the aisle. I whisper "Just breathe-be in your body and just be here". I make eye contact and we breathe together. The ceremony begins when we are present-all three of us. The crowd behind them becomes a blur and we're off! Besides having the privilege of being a wedding officiant, I also offer baby blessings. In May, I offered a blessing for a beautiful baby boy, Anderson Jeremiah Millard. His mommy, Birgitta, is a dear friend and we had fun doing it up big for this bundle of joy. Each guest was given a sand dollar. They wrote their name and a wish for Anderson on them. During the ceremony, we strung all the shells together and they will hold a special place in the baby's room. As he grows, the spirit of each person will strengthen Anderson and give him comfort. As a species, we are hard-wired for joy! How wonderful it is to be alive and know that we are all part of a Divinity who knows us, up and down, in and out! All love during this month of weddings, graduations, special days for all kinds of fathers!

Season of Love

It's the season! The birds are running around building their nests. The geese and swans in my backyard lake have been all a-honking and racing around protecting their eggs. I love this season of plenty and growth.

The brides and grooms are finding me and I'm thrilled to have June almost fully booked! I am officiating for two brides, also, who will be tying the knot in a venue in Brooklyn. Road trip back to where I spent my first 6 months of marriage way back in the 70's. I love to see all this love in the air. Young couples or mature folks who finally found their life-long mate--it's an exciting time.

When I first meet a couple that have asked me to marry them, it is magical. Their shyness wears off after a few minutes. We talk, I get to hear about how they met and how their love started to spark. Who wouldn't love this job? If you can call it a "job"? I call it a privilege, an honor, to be able to be with two people as they publicly proclaim their love and devotion to each other. And to legally officiate is just the icing on the cake.

I am also offering a "short-ceremony" wedding for elopements and those couples who want to have the ceremony and dinner at some of the local restaurants in my area.
You can contact me--my geese and swans will be your witnesses! And maybe a few babies by then.