Loss

My sister, Stancie, died in her sleep on May 25. Her funeral was a week ago today in Marblehead, MA. She was going to be 62 in a few weeks.

What more can I say? How do you blog about a horrible thing like this? I haven't been able to write about it anywhere, and here I am so coldly typing those words on a blog.

I volunteered to say her Eulogy. It was a parting gift to her and to her family(that's me, too) and I was honored, daunted and terrified at the same time. Her daughter, Lucy, wrote her Obit and it was a gorgeous tribute to her loving mother.
It's all been said. We talked and talked, cried and then cried some more. More tears are left in the eye-buckets but mostly, I'm still in shock.

Shock and disbelief. It's so hard to believe I'll never see her sparkling blue eyes and huge smile ever again. Get a big hug. Ask her for clarity on my memories. Include her at family celebrations. Called her number and got her voice--tears came.
See her picture out of the corner of my eye in the living room-tears came. Laughed about our silly Sheehan-isms--tears well up.

Sisters and Brothers--they're not replaceable. Who would you ask something like "Remember when Mom did this?" other than your brother or sister. We shared so much, my first friend and I. That bond never dies. I know it didn't with George, Jr. when he passed in 1999. I still hear his rich voice and see his smile. I pray that for my sister, Stancie.

Miss you forever!