Not out of the woods!

 Hello out there!  This is me, shouting out from Sunny Florida. Although sunny, the scourge Covid/Coronavirus/Pandemic has not left our shores.  The atmosphere in Florida is that vaccine is ridiculous and it's all a hoax.  Children don't need to wear masks in school and who cares that the hospital ICU's are at full capacity with non-vaccinated patients on ventilators.

Again, again.  I do believe that the political atmosphere down in Florida and some of the southern states (including Texas) have talked people to keep their heads in the sand over Covid.  And, people, your head in the sand may prevent you from getting sick, but you'll suffocate and die.  Not to get on a soapbox, which I've been hesitant to do since I don't want to piss off too many of my neighbors, but really........  New York isn't too much better with the percent of cases going from 1% to 4% recently.  There's a stronger variant afoot which takes no prisoners.  It's getting the vaccinated also.  So, for now, I'm masking, washing hands, staying out of the fray of restaurants and meetings where those buggers may hide.

Contradicting myself, I went to run a retreat in Michigan a few weeks ago.  I felt ok on the planes, with everyone masked and was given a little package of wipes by the flight attendants when I walked onto the plane.  The retreat was on the shore of Lake Huron and there were 58 women hungry to hear even a morsel of hope, spirituality, recovery, light, joy or something other than they've heard for the last 18 months being cooped up in their towns. It was a fun group who have been meeting in the same place since 2006.  I felt so honored to lead them.  I think they got a lot out of the music I played, and the little anecdotes I told them of my own ESH.  I know I made some wonderful friends who I hope to see again.

I've committed to doing a workshop here in Florida in November.  I hope it makes it with the threat of more icky germs spewing their harm here and there.  In any event, please stay safe, dear friends.  You're important to me.

Pandemic Post

So, we're into this whole Pandemic thing over 50 days.  Not even sure when it began-from my estimation, it was around St. Patrick's day 2020(March 17).

"Sheltering in Place" "Covid-19" "N-9 Masks" "Social Distancing" "Task Force" "Six feet apart"
Those are some of the may catch phrases that have come out of this insane virus that has killed over 60,000 Americans - or more - to date.  New York and the New Jersey area has been slammed.  Poor folks in nursing homes are devastated, meat packing plants all over the country, densely-inhabited pockets of Florida have been hit.  We're all in this mess together.  In the New York suburb where I come from, the neighboring town of Brentwood has had the highest number of Covid-related cases.  Why?  The folks are poor-have to work in horrible situations to feed their families and have many immigrants who are "forced" to go to work at their jobs.  How have these folks fared?  They have gone to work, caught the virus on their way to or from home, or from a co-worker and brought it home to their family.  Many hospital workers have had to send their families away so they don't infect them when they're done with their shifts.  The front line folks have risked their lives and the lives of those who they love for the sick.  It's a horror.

I'm praying daily for this to stop.  Test Test Test, find a way to immunize all the millions of people in the US?  This may take months.  Will we have the stamina to wait it out?  I feel that we're a large group who don't really know what hardship really is.  We don't remember the Depression.  We've forgotten about the Viet Nam War when so many were lost.  We are so spoiled that we can't wait to break out and go out  to a place to eat, rather than follow our conscience and wait just a few more weeks.

We're not saints.  We've been out and about,  going to the grocery store and playing golf down here in Florida.  I play scared.  I'm not comfortable with the situation.  The beaches just opened and they are packed!!!!  I'm not going near them in the heat of the day.  I'm reading, reaching out to people, zooming and doing too much eating!  

If you're reading this in the future, remember what the world was going through in 2020.  Be careful.

Shut In!!

A virus has hit the world that has no vaccine.  It started in China from a non-human source so the we humans have no recourse but to see it run through.  People are dying by the hour in Italy and China.  The US, through our President(who shall remain nameless) decided years go that we should return to Nationalism.  Ergo, they are not accepting test kits from countries outside of our borders.  We were warned about this oncoming virus months ago.  But the Washington smarties closed their minds and eyes to the oncoming wave and called it "fake news'.  So now we're behind the times and trying to catch up--while our citizens die.

That's my take on it.  I am pretty hopeful, however.  The times they are a changing'. We've been waiting for something to shake up the "ties" in DC.  The house and senate can't play together.  So, our Source came in and decided to mess things up for us.  There's fallout, of course.  We are paying for the time lapse.  Let's have some faith in our manufacturing industry that tests, masks, hand sanitizers ad the materials the health care industry need to take care of this who are sick from this creepy crawly virus.

I'm hanging out in my wonderful Florida condo.  Enjoying the sunshine.  I am lucky to be here during the virus of 2020.  Reading, watching movies, walking outside, riding my bike, cooking soup, loving meetings and connections online.  Shopping!!  or trying not to shop.  Loving the connections with my neighbors in our condo complex and helping each other.  Taking this day by day.  Remembering to breathe and pray many times daily.

Thanking God that my health is good and the health of my husband and family members is good, too.  Sending out white healing light and love to all of you in bogland.

No "Organ Recital" for me

These past winters spent in Florida have been wonderful, exhilarating and eye opening, for sure.  I've heard  "y'all" come out of my Yankee mouth once or twice.  There's a strange hankering for grits.  I understand why the Southern folks don't understand me-I have to slow down the wordslinkingtogether when I talk.  Maybe someday I'll be welcomed as just myself-not as a "Northerner."

I know it takes time to acclimate to a new situation.  We've been part of this area for almost 20 years! But that was as a tourist, visiting with Dad here and there, renting for a month or two at a time. I'm frustrated that I don't have my life long friends along for me to  say:  "Did you see how funny that was?" We'll always be Snow Birds as New York is my birth home but definitely enjoying this time of my life here in a warm climate.

When out to dinner with the movie group which we started going to when Dad was alive, we are the youngest by 20 years or so, save one woman my age.  When Dad was here, he would take exception to the litany of "The Organ Recital."  As each came and sat, each one would recite which organ they had trouble with that week. So often, it was just venting.  Sometimes, it was serious.  The doctors offices down here are teeming with Medicare recipients-and we have fine docs here, I have to say as a lifelong New Yorker who tends to be slightly biased.

Dad would always avoid the organ recital.  He was not one to call attention to himself.  When my mom was alive, she probably wouldn't give him the time to allow this anyway.  Headaches-not allowed!  Back pain-nix!  Occasionally he would say he had a bad tummy.  He had colitis as a kid and that was exasperated when he spent a year in a German concentration camp during World War II.

The sun, the weather and all the time outdoors have been a boon to my health and well being.  I am sitting here in my beautiful home looking out at swaying palms and a sweet little lagoon.  All organs are intact, thank God.  We are free from Coronavirus.  We are exercising our bodies, minds and souls.  All is good.

New awakenings

We are back in Florida for our third winter as residents.  The sun, palm trees, green grass and beautiful colors are a great change from the northern winters.  I smile driving down the road and catching the osprey's huge nest, with two sitting in it protecting their eggs.

Florida is definitely a leap away from the reality of winter months I remember.  The folks who were born here or have been here for 30 years or more are tough on us "Northern" people.  Of course, we are all "Northern" people since it IS the southernmost state in the Union.  I used to resent the slurs:  "Oh, you're from Lawng Eiland."  Yes, "Ma'am",  I politely answer, leaving out "Bless Your Heart."
The sight of the confederate flag still can make me shiver.  I don't condone it waving alone, without our red, white and blue.  It's a direct hit on me, as a daughter of a World War II survivor and granddaughter of a WW I.  Puhleeze, don't tell me the South is still resenting the fact they lost to us "Northern" people.

I'm craving good theater.  I miss my busy New York City streets where I get my creative juices flowing.  We have tickets to see Tony Danza in our local arts center this week.  That may stave off my melancholy for a good show.  The art is amazing, though.  Ringling has a magnificent art center in Sarasota.  The Edison house is near us for education and we enjoy the lectures at the local libraries all around.

I've found time to volunteer again.  I worked for our company for many years and had to let that go in New York.  But I found a place that I can make a difference in someones life with Hospice.  I worked at their thrift shop all last year and wanted to get full in on the experience.  Since both my parents died while on Hospice's watch in NY, I knew it was wonderful.  Plus, for many years, I served on a board of a Long Island Hospice.  After Dad passed in 2018, enough time has gone by where I feel it wouldn't hurt seeing older people at the end of their lives.  Training was extensive, and I was off to see my first patient/client.  And, as God has such a great way of tweaking me on the head, he presented me with a beautiful woman who is in the same nursing home as my Dad was in 2018.

No coincidences, you say?

We trade the old for the new.  I may have given up my old haunts and the world I used to live but I find my senses being pulled elsewhere.  I am on the back nine of life, as the golfers say.  No denying that I don't have 40 more years.  Embracing the new.  Moving toward a different goal.  Enjoying all the different people here, with their "Northern" accents. Acceptance is the Answer!

A long, long slog

It's been a long time since I wrote for this blog.  Probably months.  My head and spirit has been filled with marketing my book, "Sitting in the Silence."  It has been daunting.  Even harder than writing the darn thing!  Oh sure, the book publisher will be so helpful with marketing--at a steep price.  So, after forking up a lot of green stuff and months of back and forth with strange voices somewhere out there in cyberland, I'm asked to fork over even more of my green stuff to have them market the baby.

My first royalty check (infusion, I mean) came in.  A huge $78.45.  Wow!  I am sure F. Scott Fitzgerald didn't do this writing just for the fun of it.  He had crazy Zelda to support, even though she was a great writer herself.  Maybe in his days they bartered for pages.  He'd call his publisher and ask for a case of scotch for 100 pages.  Then a table for 10-12 at a famous restaurant in Paris for the next 100 pages.  I could go for that(the restaurant in Paris, I mean).

My people have been fabulous, showing up for multiple book signings.  I begged my local library to have a signing there.  It was the place where I had my first library card.  Remember those little tan cards with a piece of metal attached with your own number on it?  It was my most valued possession.
The book signings are so much fun and I am so grateful for all who attend.

This move to a new state has brought up problems with book signings.  First, not that many people know me here.  Second, the book stores are hurting.  Third, they don't recognize self-published books.  So, this woman gets creative and I've joined a church that is open to my dribble/words of wisdom.  I'll have a workshop there and hawk my wares.  A girls got to do what a girls got to do.

So, dear blog readers.  I ask if you have purchased one of my wonderful works to please write a review - send it to me? and recommend the book to your nearest bookstore.  I'd really, really appreciate it.

Rev. Barbara Brownyard is interview by Rev. Richard Miner

BEING A FRIEND

It's been a while since I blogged.  Almost six months.  Doesn't mean that I have stopped writing, creating and putting this name out there.

My book was launched into the world in February.  It is quite a beauty, I must say.  I have a few boxes to fly out to all of your hands, but this blog is not a commercial.  It's a big hug.

I've had life-long friends in my piece of  New York where I live.  That doesn't include the New York City and try-state area loves I've met along the journey.  I try to be in contact with people, and social media helps.  It is not like a personal phone call or a few lines written down by hand, signed "With Love" from me.

Life-long friends are hard to come by as we age.  My husband, who is six years older, has had a few pass away in the last 5 years.  That actually terrifies me.  My siblings have gone, they were younger.  There were (sorta) good reasons why their lives were cut short.  But to make it to 60 plus years and have a friend die...well, that cuts me to the core, sometimes.  That is called mortality.

We've aged, I know.  Does that mean that we can't see each other as young souls anymore?  Do they see me as my little hippie wannabe in my teens and 20's?  Do I judge them because they let their hair grey?  Dare we keep the conversation going as we age, bringing out all the aches and pains, surgeries, deaths, upsets that life gets thrown at us in our aging?

We spent a few months in the Florida sunshine.  I call it going into the "Witness Protection Program" since nobody knows your background or financial situation.  It was hard to make friends for me.  I have so many women and men that I can be real with.  It's like starting over in Kindergarten, making friends, breaking into the "in" crowd, being seen with the "popular" people.  It's lovely not to know who those people are!  I come back to my hometown and take a deep breath.  Yes, I may not see the old gang at first.  I may not see them at all.  But the memories are here.  The weekends at Fire Island, the friends whose kids grew up with ours, all the  memories of baseball, soccer, First Communions, Graduations and parties on Saturday nights.  The comfort I feel just having the air around me know that this is where we sprung our roots together.

If I have been a good friend to you, I'm glad.  If there is anything I failed to do, please forgive me.  Because you are important to me.

Sitting in the Silence

The year has been busy and eventful.  My beautiful book, "Sitting in the Silence",  has been through the pushing, pulling, revising, sprucing up by one of my favorite Graphic Artists and is just about ready to be launched.

Anyone who has written a book knows the merry go round an author goes through getting the book out into the hands of readers.  Writing the book was easy!  It now seems like it is a baby way way beyond its due date.  This mommy is tired of pushing.

I know it is a long time coming and most of my families eyes glaze over when I bring up "My book".

I do care about what my readers think of it and I think you'll all be pretty blown away.  After all, I was blown away when I saw what it will finally look like.

When I asked my friend, Dawn Daisley, to help me, I really was stuck.  I knew the publisher was waiting for something- anything -from me.  Dawn put all the puzzle pieces together and made it look like a book--Voila!  She took the photos and made them look so much better than the ones I took.  She held my hand and told me that we could do this thing.  She was my mentor and IT wizard.  I'm so grateful to have made that phone call in August!

Now the work begins and there is more pushing involved.  Marketing, Media, Social Media, you name it!  Here we come!  I would love you all to leave your reviews on Amazon and Barnes & Noble.  It is important (I found out) to moving the book into book stores.  

Oh, and it is about Meditation and the way the sitting quietly has come to help me.  I am sure you will enjoy "chewing" on the words that correspond to each bench picture.  Maybe take a break in January.  Be Still and Know that I am God.  

A Wild Ride

I have been on some wild journeys since I last blogged.  First, I am putting the finishing touches on my book "Sitting in the Silence".  It should be out by Christmas, or maybe soon after the New Year.  It's been a long slog, and I've really enjoyed every minute of the work.

I also have been traveling-Went to Alaska in June with 25 wonderful woman(and one guy).  It was a dream come true, in fact, we were called "The Bucket List Gang" by people on the ship.  We cruised from Vancouver up the inside passage to Sitka, Ketchikan and back down to Seattle.  The best part of the trip-  and there were many best parts - was the glacier!  What a sight.  I wished I had been on a land excursion to stand on it-enjoying the hugeness and age of it.  Our gang will be forever joined as a result of this journey.

In September, the dear husband and I took a beautiful trip up the Danube on a River Cruise.  It was another dream come true.  I do have to say that the water levels were so low, that we had to switch ships half - way through.  It was a bummer but the scenes in Salzburg and Vienna made it all worthwhile.  We made an optional excursion to Nuremburgh and the place where Hitler held his Nazi rallies.  That was quite a scene.  To think that all these people were so brainwashed into killing millions of their country-people, including babies.  It hurt my heart.  The last part of the trip included the courtroom where they were tried and punished for "crimes against humanity."  It still was tragic and quite an end to a beautiful trip through Germany, Austria and Hungary.

The summer is over.  It was quick!  We packed in a lot, including three weeks at Oak Beach.  The old lady still stands and had lots of company this summer, especially when my sister came out with her six grand babies!

Off to do more editing.  Thank God I have some help with my pictures.  Can't wait to see the finished project!!!

Sunshine and Skin

This winter of 2018 has been a new one for the books.  I have found myself living with a retiree, my dear husband, Bruce.  We have decided to become Florida residents and I'm now in the middle of a cliche!

The idea came to him when he realized that we could avoid paying New York State income tax.  The hitch is that we spend 6 months plus one day in Florida.  Now, this was never on my bucket list.  I love the winters down here but I think myself much too young to be down in the land of old folks.

I may be in denial of my age as I am having a big birthday in 3 short months.  The denial is genetic.  My mom, Margo, never wanted to grow old and ended up dying at a relatively young age to avoid that.  However, she loved the sun, cigarettes and her wine.  All have a detrimental effect on both the body and the skin around it.  She Nivea-ed and oiled and took vitamins that advertised a "youthful complexion" but, alas, nature had its way with her.

A week after coming down to Florida, I found a dermatologist.  There were some bumps and lumps that weren't there before.  Of course, the doctor gave me the line "I see you got a lot of sun as a kid"; one that I've heard often.  She scared me to the point that the sun is no longer my friend.  I cover up with lotion and make sure my face is pasty white with some zinc concoction when I open the door in the morning.

This doesn't seem like a great way to spend 4-5 months in this tropical climate.  I am a golfer and love to walk in the fresh air.  There has to be a happy medium so I don't end up with a face that looks like an alligators grandmother.

I can still enjoy my sports and swim in the Gulf but the sunblock must be reapplied several times a day, not just in the morning.  This is a small price to pay to save my life from skin cancer.  I got plenty of sun as a kid, anyway.  Baby oil and iodine all over my lily white, sensitive Irish skin, making it sizzle like bacon.  Ouch!  Although I can't rewind the clock, I can prevent one or two wrinkles.  You've done enough damage, Mr. Sun!

BROKEN HEART

My father, George F. Sheehan, Sr., passed from this life on September 17, 2017.  He gently slipped away in his sleep, alone.  I don't really know about the "gently" or "alone" parts because I wasn't there.  He was in his little room at the Assisted Living place he's been in since April.  His aide, Val, had heard him talking in his sleep, as she did often.  When she went in to check on him, he was gone.

I had been working on a reunion for my Seminary, One Spirit, for the last year.  It came the same weekend in upstate New York.   I was woken up early that morning with a sweet voice that told me "Your Dad passed".  It was Val.  She later told me she sat with him for about two hours until my brother came to see Dad.  Then Doug stayed with him for another two hours until the doctor pronounced him.

It was surreal to me.  I prayed for his easy death; we all did. I saw how he suffered daily over the last five months. he made it to 95 plus 38 days!  It's been a tough month since and he is sorely missed by me and so many family and friends.

So, what now?  I think of him when I go to the grocery and see some tea or cookies he might like.  I smell his coats which will be donated to help the homeless this winter.  Each thank you note I write makes me grateful about all the people who showed up and still show up for us. But my heart is broken.  I feel like a huge part of it has been lopped off.  My father is no longer here to talk to about the World Series, about current events, about family drama, golf and friends.  I miss him when I think of old stories and want someone to affirm them.  I guess I'm the keeper of the stories now, along with my siblings.

I've been writing a monthly column for a local magazine for the last 14 years.  It's focus is on my reflections about growing up along the South Shore of Long island and the happenings of the past and present.  I would always write about my father--so many columns are written about him and focused on his influence in my life.  He would always say "Don't write about me until after I'm dead, Bob."  I'd laugh and keep writing about my favorite subject. I know the words will keep him alive in my heart and will let others know what kind of a guy he was.  So, Dad, now that I have your permission, there are so many more stories to come.  Life is Eternal and Love never dies.

Father's Day 2017

Long time, no blog.  Been working on a book, a new website, journaling and trying to keep up with the weddings, funerals and blessings I've been asked to do.

This new year has been one of change.  An aging Father who is entering his last months of life.  His heart is like an old car engine.  It isn't performing as well as the chassis looks from the outside. If you see him, he's frail, smaller and can hardly hear a word.  But his beautiful bright blue eyes can flash with love at me and my heart melts. He's with a bunch of oldies in an assisted living place that is like the Taj Mahal!  It was the only place we could have him live comfortably. He has good, old friends who live there and tries to socialize as best he could.   I know he's waiting for August 3, 2017 when he'll turn 95.  He's told me that he can die on August 4th!

It's tough to say that this may be his last year.  I've known him for a long time!  We've gone through our ups and downs.  The last 23 years since Mom died, we have become closer and he depends on me more and more.  It doesn't matter what time of day or night, I can get his call and I'm there!  It's what I owe him.  He did a wonderful job giving me the guidelines for a full, fruitful, courageous life.  He taught me well how to give to others, how to extend yourself even though you don't always want to.  He was the leader of our gang and we did follow where he led, even though we didn't know it at the time. 

When Dad goes, I'll be sad.  I'll cry as I am doing now.  But I know--I KNOW--he doesn't want to be here in this physical body that is crumbling minute by minute.  He said to me recently:  "You live too long".  When that day comes, I won't agree with him.  I'll want to see those blue eyes flashing at me one more time, hear his voice say to me "Love you, baby". Love you, Dad.  Happy Father's Day!

Losses and beginnings

I just heard today that a beautiful friend of mine has passed.  She suffered from a brain tumor and survived 35 months!  Patti was a holistic follower long before it became fashionable. She taught yoga and helped others get healthy through her work as a graduate of the IIN  (Institute of Integral Nutrition).
Those that knew her are sad at the loss of such a brave, loving woman.  But her pain was unbearable. She wasn't the vital, tall stunning blond, strutting down the fairway anymore.  She was sick. 
I can say all kinds of beautiful and spiritual platitudes about how she is at peace and out of her pain.  Maybe she is.  Maybe she has transcended this earth.  Maybe she is at one with the Divine, who knew her struggles.  Maybe she can watch her husband, children and granddaughter go on without her and shower them with her grace.  Maybe.
We all grieve differently.  I grieve like this--expressing my love for her on paper.  I know--for certain--that she is out of her human pain.  We all may have to go through this at one time or another.  I know she can love us from where she is now.  Her Spirit is much too strong to go this early.  I tell families that at wakes and gravesites.  I ask them to watch for their loved ones, listen for their whispers or their nudges.  I am certain that my beautiful friend will be watching over her family and her friends for the next few days.  I see her gorgeous smile and laughing eyes, her resounding voice that tells us she is all right and we will be all right, too. Bon Voyage, Patti.

Holy Heat Batman!

"Well the temperature's rising, it isn't suprising, we certainly can can-can"
I have no great desire to dance during our recent heat wave. It almost hit 100 degrees here in New York last week.  I even curtailed some of my outdoor activities--not at all like me!

I performed three weddings last week.  One was super-windy and the Unity Candle ceremony was a bust.  The couple had already been legally married the night before in a church and I was the "friend wedding" officiant.  They even forgot the rings!  How did that happen, when they were already married?

Next day was way out on Long Island at a beautiful venue.  The bride was super-anxious about the heat and I reassured her earlier in the week that I would make it super quick.  I didn't want to short change her but she was very nervous.  The groom was cool and calm!  They had been together since high school so I guess it wasn't a big deal to him!  It WAS hot--water was available thanks to the venue and nobody melted.  I took off to regroup and marry the last twosome.

The last couple were two women who wanted to get married at the beach.  I opened up our family beach house to them.  They were also Interfaith-Jewish and Christian-so we had a reading about the Temple and how one has to die to find their true soulmate who was always waiting for them.  So beautiful.  Two lightbulbs crushed and a "Mazel Tov"!!  They were having their big bash in Cancun this week and I wish them much love and joy on this next journey.

You can't beat the heat.  I love what I do for couples and have to say it's definitely a ministry.  I said last summer that I wouldn't have weddings every weekend again.  August is my anniversary month and want to spend some quality weekends with my hubby.  He sometimes is my chauffeur and then we go out to a nice dinner somewhere on the way home.  He supports my ministry and loves telling people I'm a minister.  He had been in a Catholic Seminary after high school for 6 years and he should have been the Reverend Brownyard.  Instead, the female Brownyard in the partnership holds that title! 

Blogging in the AC--remind me of this in January!

Whats Going On?

Blogging on a Saturday morning when it's cool and sun isn't powerful.  It's been a scorcher here in NY. But the way the country has been going crazy, I think the heat is only part of the problem.

Killings this week across the South.  I hate to watch the news or even look at my Facebook or Twitter. I know that there is a Higher Power in charge but wonder if He/She isn't someplace cooler on vacation.

I'm not a fan of guns, and have never even held one in my hand.  Wouldn't let my kids have toy guns, either. The thought of pointing a lethal weapon at another human being scares the you-know-what out of me.  It's senseless--is it anger and fear that is precipitating all this violence?.  "I don't know you, therefore I'm going to shoot you dead".  It is so impersonal to pick up a piece of metal and pull a trigger.  Then so many families and neighborhoods are devastated forever.

Perhaps, no, not just perhaps, but certainly we must know each other.  We must look our fellow humans in the eye and ask them who they are.  What do you believe in?  What makes you happy/sad/mad.  Dialogue:  Talk:  Open up:  Get human:  Put down your fears:  What are we waiting for?

I am saddened-so much pain and fear.  I choose love today.  I will walk in mindfulness for those who are affected by the madness in the South and all over our world.  Who will walk with me?

Bittersweet

A new chapter has opened up in our lives.  Our home has been sold and we are "right-sizing" to a beautiful condo.  I'll be sad to leave this place, our home for the longest time in our marriage. We've had new grand-children brought home from the hospital to live with us, our son and his wife planned their destination wedding from these rooms and we have been blessed to have lots of great friends and family gatherings here.

The greatest joy was to have my couples meet me in my home office.  I created a beautiful, peaceful sanctuary in one of our rooms.  I think I enjoy meeting the couples when they are in their jeans, relaxed.  They open up about their engagement, how they met and what they love about each other.  We have one or two meetings, depending on the time we have to plan. I give them ideas for readings from my files after I get the "flavor" of their ceremony. I have pictures of weddings I've done around the room, some beautiful sacred items and a cozy couch for them to sit on. 

When its impossible for them to come to me, I meet couples at places that are convenient to them:  Starbucks, Paneras, diners or even a park bench will do.  I've been into the City to have dinner with some of my brides and grooms, grooms and grooms and brides and brides!  It's a joy!

I'll remember the wedding we had in our backyard, another in the dining room and a pronouncement in the living room of our home.  We asked a friend to come with us from the diner to witness a late night wedding last year.  Wherever you gather, I'm available and ready to watch you elope to a new marital status!

Sweet 16

It's been a while since I connected with my Blogger spot.  I am busy with material for my monthly column in The Great South Bay Magazine, weddings for some wonderful couples and taking some time to write for my own - almost ready - book of meditations.

Writing can take a fair amount of my creative energy.  When you don't have the inspiration, it's a struggle to sit at the computer and make the fingers move.  I have a lot of time on my hands now, in Florida for a few months, and want to get this project done!  I've had so much going on:  shoulder surgery, officiating a nieces wedding, packing for the winter and then got hit with the flu.  It takes me some time to recharge enough to be able to sit and feel the flow of creative energy.

I found that meditation has been a huge help to spark that flow.  Sitting and just be-ing has been a daily regime that I maintain.  It's been a way to reconnect to the Divine inside and also quell the machinations of my mind.  A friend calls them "the ooga-boogas".  I make sure they are gone by the time I arise from my meditation chair and don't think about them for the rest of the day.

Meditation can be a five minute eye-rest or an hour full body scan.  I can meditate anywhere, anytime and among any group.  My sister, Stancie, used to be famous for her power naps.  They recharged her, too.  I also remember coming home from school and finding my mom stretched out on her loveseat to recharge for us kids.  Whether they were out cold for 30 minutes, or meditating on the peace and quiet, I take that as permission to have myself a lie-down when I need it.

So, the discipline involved in writing starts with my quiet time.  Since the book is on meditation, I get a boat load of material while I'm sitting.  I love it, anyway. 

Let's start off Sweet 16 with some sweet quiet and rest - if only for 5 minutes.  It will send up all the love to the universe and heal yourself and the world.

Fall meanderings

This has been a blur of a season.  If I didn't have a calendar, I would have sworn September didn't happen at all.

I had about 8 weddings since September 1st and that included two last minute elopements this very week.  There just happens to be a Blood Red moon and if that has anything to do with this, bring on more of them!

Life is strange, with it's twists and turns.  We don't know what each day will bring, but it would be nice to have a heads up once in a while.  I make plans, then God laughs and turns the day all around.  I am pretty flexible and try to live in the moment.  My friend, Barbara and I, went on a workshop a few years ago at Omega given by Jon Kabat-Zin.  We were taught what most Buddhists do to keep the focus on the moment.  Eat with purpose, walk gently and slowly across the earth, wash dishes and relish the clean water and suds and mind your mind!

Mindfulness is a wonderful thing to remember to do.  I know I am off when I race from one venue to the other, catching up with the couples who need me to be at a place on time.  I breathe as I race, but sometimes, it's too stressful and I have to remember I am human and will be there when I get there.
I do ask them, when I finally get them in front of me at the ceremony, to take a moment to breathe and be present.  It helps me, too.  I need that pause to be mindful of the enormity of the task, the love in the space and remember that Spirit is ever present.

Mountain Wedding

The summer started off with a wimper.  All was calm, relaxed and looked like the weather was going to be the three H's for the duration.
Rain made it wonderful to see the grass green up nicely.  Hydrangas popped out on time as well as the beautiful trailing mini roses along our fence.

The weekend of July 11-12 was exciting.  I was asked to officiate a wedding for the daughter of an old high school buddy of mine.  The couple are based in New York City but wanted a different kind of place, something so unique that their guests and family would all love.  They love the mountains and found a quarry in Saugerties, New York for the event.

The quarry, called Opus 40, was bought by a man named Harvey Fite in 1938.  He was a sculptor who taught at Bard.  The quarry was his life's work.  He fashioned sculptures with rudimentary tools.  A 9 ton pillar, called "Flame" is the first thing you see when you enter the space. Other sculptures are in various places around the property, many fashioned after Mayan ruins in Honduras, where he had worked.
The wedding ceremony was set down into the quarry, with a background of raw bluestone.  Rustic benches were set for the guests.  The footing to walk down the rocks was unsteady, so flat shoes were a must.  The couple had requested their guests to all wear white, which turned out to be a beautiful sea of white amid the black rocks.
As our couple has been in the music business, sound was well thought out and beautiful.  The bride and her parents walked down into the quarry to her waiting groom to the song by Elbow "Beautiful Day".  After the ceremony, which had the crowd in tears, a bagpiper piped them up and out of the space.

The next day, I drove home to Long Island via Hyde Park and had a long visit with an aunt that I haven't had a relationship with for many years.  She was my mother's sister, her only surviving sibling.  We had a great talk and she asked me when I was coming back up to visit! 

I am reflecting on how, when you take a risk, like going out of town to do a wedding for some special people, or gathering all your courage to give an estranged-relative a hug, that you are given the grace/strength to rise to any occasion.  The rewards?  I sang all the way home on the NY Thruway!